sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
