dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
