As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
