Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
