I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
