Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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