i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
