Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you would pick up someone in the library
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
