I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
