Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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