Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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