My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
