Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
