i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
