there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
