Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
