Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
