He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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