Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just gargled with NyQuil
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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