it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
