you guys were way drunker than both of me
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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