Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
