he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
