it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
