Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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