we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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