Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
