every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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