what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
