Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
