do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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