How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
