My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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