I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
