Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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