I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
