I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
