he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
