You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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