He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize