So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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