What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
