She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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