hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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