So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
