My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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