Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize