And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just cut my nipple shaving
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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