Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
