conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize