Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize