So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
