do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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