Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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