sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
