I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
