I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
