ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
