we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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